Conversation Tips

Creating the Right Message

1. Read their profile before writing your message.

First, make sure that you read the other person’s profile! There is a wealth of information in their profile, for example, their wants and don’ts. When I was in the dating environment, I once responded to an online profile, and it turned out that the person was a transgender (male to a female) individual. I had to apologize for sending that message when I was not interested in dating a transgender individual. Then you fully read each profile; you can find some golden nuggets of commonality like you visit the same countries or similar interests. These can be conversational points of interest in the communication ice breakers. Think of how your friends see you. Referring to their hobbies, pictures, or occupation in your message shows that you have put time into reading their profile and have taken a genuine interest in them. Don’t forget to let your personality shine through! If you’re the funny guy, then slip in a tasteful joke. Let that come across if you’re poetic, artistic, or creative.

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2. Be confident and positive.

Daters are seeking a person that is friendly, approachable, and easy to talk to. Your tone in your first message sets the tone of the first communication. The first message should be entertaining and engaging; leave the serious things to 4 or 5 dates in the future. Talking about how you haven’t dated since your last break-up or how you’re ready to have kids like yesterday isn’t a great opener. Keeping things fun and upbeat is the best way to get a response.

3. Keep your first message short and sweet.

Most people don’t wish to read a book via your first message to them; most don’t read at all and prefer to watch a video. If you decide to write a book for your first message, it most likely will not be read unless it is entertaining and captivate the reader. Your first message to a dater must entice the recipient to view your profile and become interested in getting to know you.

4. Open and honest conversation is the best for dating.

Everyone loves to hear about how great they are, and compliments go long. However, most attractive people always hear “You Are Beautiful,” so be creative giving compliments. Asking the other person something (about their description, pictures, life, career, favorite things to do, etc.) gives them some material to respond with and takes the pressure off finding something to talk about during the first conversation.

5. Asking questions but listening more.

Most people want to hear themselves speak, so it is important to be a good listener. When you listen more, you learn more about other people. The first conversations made these talks fun and energized.

Be sure to end your initial communication by letting the user know you’re excited to hear back from them!